Remembering!

Three years ago this month I found out I was pregnant with our 8th baby (after thinking I had miscarried him the end of July) we were beyond excited.  Dealing with a miscarriage is difficult but doing it quietly without telling others is sometimes even harder.  After three or four weeks we realized that I was actually still pregnant and the problems I had were unrelated to the baby.  We would soon find out that he had another set of problems.  I carried Daniel till a few days short of 20 weeks.  The day we went in for another check up at the high risk OB is a day I will never forget.  It honestly feels like it could have just been a few week or months ago that all this happened.  The image we saw is forever in my mind, the pain that I felt, it was so hard to breathe, to walk or even think straight.  To come home to a house full of kids that would also have to deal with the loss was something I can never explain.

This month I want to remember the good days, the early days when we didn't know where we were heading, we didn't know what we would soon face.  I remember the late nights staying up and sewing.  I could always feel movement late and I know that he was staying up late with me.  That was our special time together.  It was an extra blessing that we were able to know he was a boy at 14-15 weeks.  Especially since we decided we didn't want to know but he was determined that we find out.  So this month is my month to remember and be thankful for the time we had with our little Daniel.  Not a day goes by that I do not think of him.  It was an awful painful experience but for the days we were together I will always be grateful.