Sometimes life just seems hard. What will I make of it? To live with self pity, to be angry, depressed to roll in the muck and mire? A few weeks ago I was at the store and ran into someone that I really barely remember. I felt bad but I just couldn't place her. Apparently she knew I was "still" married and living the " fairy tale life" like I did in high school. What?!?!? My life was in NO WAY a fairy tale back then. I really didn't know how to reply because no my life is not a fairy tale and never has been. I have a great husband and wonderful kids but I do live in the real world and life is never easy nor a fairy tale. I still don't know how she meant that, a bit hateful but almost with a sadness about her own life too. When I ran into her that day I had been up the entire night before trying to figure out why people can be so mean and hurtful, I was reading over some of the meanest and ugliest "pins" from pinterest that were directed to me and my children. Trying to figure out why grown adults can say things and think its okay. Not to mention that it's okay to bring your children into it. All Moms know that's a big no-no, don't mess with the kids, now you've really messed up!!!!! What I wanted to say but didn't- Yes, I am so thankful for my life! It is rewarding when you see your kids making good choices, learning from mistakes and also learning that people can be mean and vicious but in spite of that learning to forgive. It is hard work raising a family, teaching and training at home without any family support (other than my husband, obviously), trying to teach them what the Love of Jesus means because that is our greatest example of love!! So lady that was so sarcastic to me, you know nothing about my life. You don't know that I have a mother that lives 500 feet down the road but has chosen to once again forget she has a daughter, son in law and grandchildren that love and care about her. For some reason she just has more important things to do. What that could be I'll never know. I should be used to it by now but I'm not. How do you understand when you and even the kids were told that she would never stop coming around again but here we go again!!!! I can't make sense of it all, I'll never understand it. So that's what I wanted to say to that lady but I didn't, I kept my mouth shut and just smiled because in a way I felt bad for her. Her life probably didn't turn out the way she thought it would and neither did mine. Never once did I imagine myself being so blessed as a wife and mother. Maybe I should be more thankful for the grief I have went through with family, it made for a lot of great late night conversations with me and my husband trying to figure it all out. Then when tired husband would go to sleep it would make for even more great conversation with me and the Lord. So I guess it made me spend more time in prayer and for that I am very thankful. So what did the Lord show me, here's one thing and I'm still trying to do it, I believe the Lord told me to be the Mother to my children that I wish I had with my own mother. He showed me to not feel sorry for myself because I can't fix it and it might always be broken. He gave us 8 children, 7 of which I have with me every single day. Not to spend the day agonizing over what in the world went wrong but to teach them by example that life can be hard but with God's help and God's help only, we can make it. Life is full of a lot of disappointments, some can really hurt. You can't make people love you and want to spend time with you no matter how much that was the way God intended for the family to be. Sometimes it just doesn't happen! But thankfully God always loves us, his love for us is constant because we are his children, he created us! Now that's what I need to be teaching the amazing love of God, so big and so beautiful we can never totally understand it. So I've decided if I happen to run into that person again I'll tell her that her words really stuck with me, my life is not a fairy tale or maybe actually it is, I guess it just depends on how you look at things. I'm a Little House on the Prairie fan, I always wanted a Ma like Laura had when I was younger and when I grew up I wanted to be a Ma just like Caroline! They faced so many struggles, were far from rich, dealt with loss, had to be content and satisfied and learn that less is usually better. Well I'm definitely not Caroline but my kids know that I love them. Trust me that is really important. They have a Daddy that would do anything possible for them, that teaches them about God's Love, reads the Bible to them, spends his time with them and lets them know that his favorite thing to do is spend time with us! That is an awesome Dad!!!! So now that I think about it maybe my life is a fairy tale, just a Little House on the Prairie kind of fairy tale!!! For that I'm thankful!
