2013 Birthdays part 2

Since Morgan was turning 18 we did quite a bit to celebrate over a 3 day period.  In our house we usually celebrate for a couple days for each persons birthday. The first one on here  was really dark but the movie was just about to start.  The next one was a quick shot at Cracker Barrel, Morgan is asking me if I am actually taking pictures and Katie is about to start laughing because I can't ever get a good picture.  They DO NOT like this one but I do since it's the only one that turned out a little okay.   








2013 Birthdays Part 1









 






Since we did barely any blogging last year I decided to put some birthday pictures on here.  somehow this got put into two different posts.  That's ok, I'll leave it rather than try to fix it and  mess it all up. 
Jacob turns 9 - October 5
Josiah turns 13 - November 23
Morgan turns 18 - December 5
Katie turns 15 - July 5
part of Morgan's are on here and Katie's birthday is on part 2.

Summertime 2013, we miss you!



Our 4 youngest enjoying much warmer summer days.  These cold temps are getting kinda old.  I much prefer 30-40 in the winter than 10-15.  Sarah was getting pushed way too high in the first one but she loves our big tree swing in the back yard.  I think it's a favorite of all our children.
Samuel and Stephen playing in the back yard, one of their favorite things to do.  Jacob trying to give his most serious face as he travels in our "new to us" Suburban for the first time.  Being this serious is a challenge for Jacob for sure.  And one of my most favorites of Sarah.  Love her braids!!

A Brand New Year and some hard things I had to learn

I always love the start of a new year.  A brand new planner, time to make new lists, a fresh start on school stuff.  It's always so refreshing!!  It's also a good time to look back on the last year and see where you were at, what God brought you through, blessings from the Lord and lessons learned too!!
So here I go- ONE of the biggest lessons I have learned this year is that people WILL let you down.  This can cause deep pain.  Sometimes people  will actually turn on you so fast you can almost fill the wind blow by.  It can come as a shock kinda like when you are running in one direction and unexpectedly you get a blow to the back, a kidney punch that stops you right there and then you have to get back up, shake it off and just keep going in the direction you were heading.  You can't believe it has happened the pain is intense but you know eventually it won't hurt quite so bad.  That's kinda how I felt near the end of this year.  Unexpectedly I had a lot of time in the month of December where all I could do was sit and reflect on some things.  I just didn't understand why I had to fall and cause a very painful injury to my shoulder so close to the busiest time of the year when I had all these plans and so much I wanted to do.  My injury caused more work, money and stress for my sweet family.  Not what was on the planner for December at all!!  That sounds really childish and very selfish but actually I got a lot out of that experience.  Did the Lord want to show me some things?  Did it take an accident for me to slow down long enough for me to clearly see what I should have seen long before?   I believe my eyes were opened and it was time for me to have to go through some things.  This will make me stronger I know.  The cold hard truth is that some people can be ugly and just plain mean to everyone they come in contact with.  That's just their personality, sad but true. I should say 75% of people if you find yourself in the 25% that they seem to actually like then is that really where you want to be.? Just be sure you will be put in that 75% range soon enough.  Hurt cuts deep, it causes anger, bitterness and a whole lot of other emotions.  Hurt from people that should be loving you is awful.  Then when it happens from different areas at the same time this just throws a double or even triple blow.  And you know when they are making it so obvious that they must somehow be enjoying it.  That is very dark and sad!!  I've been dealing with all the hurt, pain, disappointment, shock anger and bitterness that comes after this.  I know with the Lord's help I am past the anger and  bitterness part.  It was a hard place to be in.  I'm on to the forgiveness now.  Not because those that have caused the pain have asked for it.  This will probably never happen and even if it does who knows if it will be sincere.  I have forgiveness because I have to forgive.  That's what God says!!  True forgiveness is wonderful, I can't explain it but it is.

  Even though the month of December was a tough time and reality hit me hard, it was also a good month too.  It gave me a lot of extra time to see how much my husband cares about me.  I already knew this but still, he went above and beyond to help do what I couldn't do.  He stayed up with me night after night when I was in so much pain with my shoulder and arm I couldn't sleep at all.  I know he was tired and worn out too.  It was a busy time for him at work/church and then he had all the responsibilities that I usually take care of.  Then with my hurt and disappointment with others, he was always ready to listen.  I'm blessed to have him!!  My older kids too showed us how they are not afraid to help out.  Their lives don't revolve around spending time with everyone BUT their family or playing video games all day.  I can't imagine what it would have been like for our family if they weren't so willing to help out wherever they were needed.  At one point Morgan and Katie were going in every direction.  Either helping here at the home or going to church with their Daddy and helping him with probably one of the busiest and sometimes most hectic months of the year.   It also gave Josiah and Jacob the chance to step up and be awesome big brothers to their younger ones and also serve others in the family.  And of course the younger three kept me entertained and loved on me too.  We had friends go above and beyond to help us with food, meals and knowing they were praying for our family because we really needed it.  Things happened that were totally unexpected and for that we are just so thankful!!

   So as I re-read the above I realize that the blessings far outweigh the hurt and pain caused by some.  There will always be painful times in our life.  Right now I am seeing my way out of one.  It it a much better place than being in the middle of all that.  I have learned the hard way that people you have been through so much with and think they will always be there when you need them might just not be.  And I've learned that's okay, this too will pass.  Prayers in the middle of the night are usually better than sleep and keep us closer to who we should be closest too.  There are so many other relationships and friendships to focus on.  The Lord has blessed us with new friendships and opportunities, deep love in our family that so many don't have right now or may have never experienced and a chance to find a way to be a blessing to others.  For this I am very thankful.

   Hopefully soon I can do a recap of our 2013 year.  We enjoy looking back on our blog.  It's kind of like a family scrapbook.  Also some of our goals and plans for the 2014 year.  We will see if I can find the time.   I hesitate with even posting this here.  I know not many will see it but sharing openly and publicly isn't the easiest.  We have had other people think we wouldn't understand about pain and hardships because they think our life must be easy and great.  Well it is great but that doesn't mean it hasn't been full of some rough stuff too.  I've written and re-written several things in my notebook during the last half of the month of December and first part of January.  Those are very personal and long and it was a help to me to write those things out as I was feeling so many different things.  That's not what I want this to be.  Honestly It's just me being so glad I see my way out of a tunnel.  I've been in these type tunnels before and it's so good to being coming out that going in.  I heard a pastor once say that as a christian most of the time you are one of three places.  Either in the middle of a "storm" coming out of one or heading into one.  I wanted to disagree but the older I get I have to agree more.  My favorite place to be is the peace after the storm.  I know I can't always be in that place but I do enjoy it while I'm there.  Peace from God is an awesome thing to have.  I just want to say that I am so thankful that the Lord NEVER leaves us.  I can't say I'm glad that all these things happened but I am thankful that I am going to make it.

Sarah's surgery and a look at our crazy week

Sarah's surgery went pretty good on Monday.  She did great at first but then started getting a little nervous and asked to go home a few times.  Her doctor decided to not take out quite as much as he had planned on at first so we were glad about that.  She only has about 8 or 10 stitches.  He also did a great job on her hair and instead of one big bald spot it just looks thin through there.  We think he did a great job especially for the are he was working on.  She was pretty sick after the surgery even though they gave her something for her stomach.  She was just pitiful at the hospital and on the ride home.  When we got home she was so glad to be back with everyone.  I think we all collapsed for the night before dark and fell asleep.  Just about everyone was awake and stayed awake when we left around 5 that morning.
 The incision started bleeding just last night because she hit it somehow and that was scary but hopefully it didn't hurt it too bad.  We waited all week for the biopsy results and the office called Friday and said everything looked good.  We are so thankful!!!  When I saw it was them calling on the caller ID I almost couldn't even say hello when I answered.  We are so appreciative of all the comments, texts and phone calls we have received.  We have started our journey with essential oils too and look forward to seeing how we can use them in healing.  I have been wanting to learn more about oils for sometime now and my very dear friend let me borrow her bottle ( must remember to return this) and I will always be grateful.  Our church prayer line had a daily and specific prayer sent out for Sarah each day.  This was above and beyond what we even expected when we asked others to pray for us.   We thank the Lord for what he has done for Sarah.  Josiah and Jacob love to make movies with our video camera.  They had an old tape in and showed me what they had found yesterday.  It was Sarah at about 7 months old sitting in the floor.  She looked adorable but what really got us was how she kept bending her head over and you could just see how huge her "spot" was.  The doctor asked us again right before the surgery when and how we noticed that it was fading.  When Sammy was explaining it to him he said that the Lord had done it all and we really had no other way to explain it.  He said that we were extremely blessed and the doctor totally agreed.  I'm thinking about taking that little video and showing it to him.  He has pictures of her when she was a baby but it would be good to show him with a live video.

So this has been a really tough week.  Never did we think we would be at Children's hospital in Chattanooga 2 times in a week but we spent some more time there on Thursday.  Stephen fell straight back off our dining room table bench and hurt the back of his head.  He was in so much pain!!!  He wouldn't play, eat, or do anything except just want to be held and that is SO not Stephen.  We even tried to give him his favorite candy but he wouldn't take it.  After about an hour or so he didn't won't to walk around, was constantly squinting his eyes and then the projectile vomiting started.   We headed straight for the hospital in Cleveland and wasted many hours there.  I only wish I had drove straight to Children's but he was getting so much worse very quickly and fear set in so I wanted him to have the quickest care possible.  I've decided to be nice and not say anything bad about our experience but I also can't say it was good either.  I've delivered 6 of my 8 babies at that hospital and LOVE the womens center but the care we received Thursday was just not what it should have been.  The doctor told us there was really nothing they could do for him there if he had a brain bleed so we were sent to Chattanooga.  I really wish it hadn't taken him 3 hours to decide that.  I went with him on the stretcher on a bumpy ride down the interstate in the ambulance.   About the time we were leaving Cleveland he started to perk up some and by the time we made it to Chattanooga he was doing great and couldn't even tell anything was going on.  I was so afraid he would scream all the way there but he actually just laid on top of me and held on so tight he didn't move.  I know he was so scared and really wanted to go home.  The doctor there said if it were a brain bleed he would NOT be doing better by this time.  It had already been almost 6 hours since it happened.  He felt like the radiation form a CT scan would be worse for him and wasn't needed after all because he was doing so well.  We stayed around for awhile and then headed back home.  The doc there said he had probably given himself a mild concussion and that's why he was getting so sick and felt terrible.   

 I am totally exhausted after our crazy week but I've got so much to be thankful for too!!!   We also have a birthday to celebrate,  Jacob  is turning 9 and has been awake off and on all night because he is so excited it's his birthday.  Jacob is the sweetest boy even though he can drive me nuts with all his energy.  He has a big heart and cares about others so much.  I know this has been a hard week for all the kids and we can't wait for life to get back to some kind of normal next week!!!  I am so proud of all my kids they have been so good to do whatever was needed this week.  It's very reassuring to know that the older ones can handle things when Mom and Dad are in a crisis time.  From cleaning up throw up carpet ( yes I did run out of the house before I cleaned it all up) to taking care of the little ones and then making sure the house ran smoothly I can say I am one proud Mama.  When I was their age I was too into myself and the good time I was supposed to be having and cared little about being mature and helping others.  I feel sad for parents when I hear them talk about their rough relationship with their kids.  No mine are not perfect but I know I've got some really good kids too!!!  Also all our music students on Thursday have been so understanding about our emergency that day.  Especially one great young man who had his lesson interrupted repeatedly by me when I kept calling Sammy on the phone trying to figure out what to do.  I've said it many times, not what I expected my week to be but thankful everything worked out for good.  We are blessed!!!  

 

SARAH'S SURGERY UPDATE AND WAYS TO PRAY FOR HER

This week has sent my mind in a thousand directions.  Last week we went for Sarah's 6 month check on her head.  Her doctor said that surgery was needed. Not what we wanted to hear after her last check up went so well.  The birthmark area is very large and everything has faded except for one area.  The last visit he said we would need to continue to watch that one area but everything else looked good and he just couldn't believe how it had faded. What that meant is that if any activity as in melanoma were to come up it would easily be seen now because it was a pink instead of the original black.  He told us this was not normal and he was amazed that it had lightened at all.  I was very surprised when he told me that we should do the surgery to remove the remaining area around the top of the birthmark.  It took me a few seconds to process what he said so I asked him to repeat himself again several times.
I know he thinks I'm nuts but I am in a way so that's okay too.  Her surgery will be on September 30th.  They will take out a size that is rectangular in shape and probably about an inch and a half by 1 inch.  That is a guess estimate size.  So the good thing we are thankful for- not the entire birthmark, plus NO EXPANDERS, this stretches the skin to a huge size and is a much bigger deal with multiple surgeries.  She will even probably be able to go home later that day.
 We have a few things we would love for others to join us in prayer about.
#1  We are asking God to totally lighten that area just like the rest of it.  We give him all the glory for doing what has already been done.  Knowing how extreme this surgery could have been for her.  Our doctor is amazed at what happened and we totally point it all to the prayers that have been said on Sarah's behalf by so many since the day she was born.  We would love to call our doctor and tell him we think he needs to recheck that area because it has faded.  I know this could happen if it is God's will for Sarah.
#2 Please pray for Sarah and our family to have a peaceful week leading up to the surgery.  When worry sets in it's hard to stay strong and basically just deal with life.  Satan attacks in many different ways using situations or people to get us when we are not fully focused on him.  We have definitely experienced it this week in different things. We need to be prayed up and prayed for through all of this.  Also Sarah does know things are going on but she really just thinks they are going to cut her hair so they can fix her spot.  We need to tell her a little more about what will happen but not enough to scare her.
#3 For the doctor and all involved with the surgery.  We know they are professionals but even someone great at their job can make a mistake or have an off day.  We want to lift up the staff that will be working with Sarah.
#4 This is the biggest thing- we want to hear the words NO CANCER!!!!  It was obvious that her doctor did not like what he was seeing.  They will biopsy that area.   For 5 years now we have known that this is something that we might one day have to deal with but the reality of it is not something I look forward to.  We are praying and believing that there is no cancer there!!!!  It's a lot to think about so I try to not let my mind wander.

We are sharing this with our family, friends, church family and anyone that comes across our blog that would be willing to pray for our Sarah and all of our family.  Also please share this with your own church, other friends and anyone that you know would be willing to pray for our little girl.  So just in case you find your way here to this little blog that we seldom update and can't figure out who we are talking about this is our sweet, precious, fireball, Jesus-lovin, sing at the top of her lungs princess of the home.:
Sarah Madelyn
    
                                                

Our first official day of school






Carnality In The Church



 I've been looking for this video for a while. I have to caution myself in this area of ministry. Paul Washer communicates this bluntly, and clearly on why we should be cautioned about doing this. Ministry leaders have a mandate to preach the gospel; not cater to the fleshly. God help us. If you find yourself being either one of these: Ministry leader who caters to the carnal, or the carnal one wanting attention in the wrong way, please repent and wake up! Eternity is at stake.

Samuel's Birthday

 
We celebrated Samuel's 4th birthday by going to see Monster's University!  It was such a cute movie and Samuel's favorite character was Mike.  Afterward we came back home to open presents and eat  cake.